I just joined tumblr.

And my bloggy felt rejected so in an effort to convince it I am not abandoning it, I am writing a blog this evening/morning.
This is a subject that has been thrown around in my mind for many days, and is extremely important to me.

Why is it universally considered impolite, dirty, and incomparably wrong to lick a knife? These views of knife licking in society are very strong, especially regarding knife-licking in public. I am going to offer suggestions to this, along with my firm rebuttal.

IT'S UNSAFE.
Personally I think this is a ridiculous argument. Many of the people I know have licked many, many knives in their lifetime. They were never hurt by this, nor did they ever feel the need to use protection. Maybe they were just too trusting of the knives they licked, that is a very valid argument, however, as far as I know, they have had no reason to mistrust the knives they have come across.

IT'S DIRTY.
Also a ridiculous argument. Chances are that part of your knife licking will involve licking something off it. Surely this can be considered more hygienic than just leaving whatever it is to crust over? Besides, if human saliva is antiseptic, surely there is some amount of clean in it?

IT'S IMPOLITE.
No it isn't. It just isn't. Who in their right mind can honestly say that they would complain if someone licked a knife? Besides, who cares! If someone wants to lick a knife, is it really such a problem just to let them get on with it? These days when our minds are so open, it would seem they're still so closed.

That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone can think of another reason why it is socially unacceptable to lick knives (especially in public) please leave a comment and I will edit this blog to include it. I'll also advertise your own page if you ask for it.


I have 7 words.
Get. Your. Mind. Out. Of. The. Gutter.
I'm serious. Knife licking is not a euphemism.

That is all.
Zoe.

Unsociability.

Well it's Friday, I am of course on the town! Getting pissed and flashing the blokes and chatting up the burds. Really, I am.

Don't believe me? Fine. I'll make up a story. I'm actually sitting at Emma's house, drink in hand, millions of tabs open, doing exactly what I would be doing had I stayed at uni or gone home, while she is sat at the desk next to me on her desktop doing the same as me. Why? I honestly don't know. Personally, I think internet has already taken over, and we're doomed to communicate via the interwebz, typing. What I don't get is that me and Emma are actually great company together. Our banter is as exceptional as anyone elses, we can talk about shite forever, so why the fascination with the internet?

Maybe we're just sad.

Anyway. To the point of this blog.

Wait... there is no point.

I found inspiration.

FUCK YOU, SCOTTISH RAIL, FUCK YOU.

And it starts with a rant...

First, I'd like to offer an explanation for my very occasional blogging. It's also a rant. See, when I log into blogspot, teh interwebz feels the need to log me off from sites such as google and youtube. I cannot be simultaneously logged into all three. And yes, as a hardcore lazy person, this is yet one more obstacle put in place to stop me writing blogs. I don't understand why it happens, it frustrates me that it happens, and frustration leads to anger and y'all really don't want to see that. No seriously. No-one has seen me ever when I am truly angry, and it is not safe for anyone to see me in that anger, least of all myself.
If anyone has any advice on how do stop blogspot being a grade A asshole, that'd be great.

Well I originally had no topic for this blog. But now I do.
Many of you maybe know of my philosophy essay? The one with the extremely risky waffle? Well I ended up being quite proud of that essay, because I though I was ''thinking out of the box'' and being ''clevar''. I got a 3B which isn't bad (it is), cus it's a pass (it's still bad). It's 2 grades from a fail (bad) but it's a pass (still bad). If anyone wants details of the grading system find them here: http://www.philosophy.stir.ac.uk/handbook/HandbookDAssessment.php#SectD1

I'm not actually that fussed about the grade. It was the comment. See, my extremely risky and ''clevar'' waffle section didn't get a ''OMG this is soooo clevar and fantastic'', nor did it get ''this is a ridiculous waste of paper, please hold while I inform SEPA''. All it got was ''this isn't the best way of demonstrating this''. So my risky, insightful, stupid piece of inspiration for my clever philosophy essay was nothing. Just a bad idea. It's not even terrible. Just quite the anti-climax. Part of me doesn't even know why it bothers me so much. It just does. Now, there is a sense of impending doom. My geography essay. Philosophy scraped a pass. Geography I was even less confident about...

I await the grade with baited breath.

So here's a real blog.

This is probably gonna be fairly short and sweet. But not quite so succinct as the last one.

I'm just gonna list what I want in the short term atm, to serve as a reminder if you like, seeing as I have a terrible memory. Here goes...

A haircut.
I've been wanting, nay, needing a haircut for a long time. For the simple reason that at the moment it has no style, it's just hair. And it's too long. I hate my hair being too long. Those reasons and since I've moved away from home and sort of started a new life, I may as well change EVERYTHING. Besides, I have barely any friends here anyway so no-one to take the piss out of me if it looks ridiculous. Also found that I've become extremely un-self-conscious, not so much due to confidence, more to do with this uber ''I don't give a shit'' attitude that's come over me in reference to my appearance. ''No change there...'' I hear you whisper to your buddies. Well thanks to my new attitude I don't care that you said that. So don't waste your breath.

Get that eff-ing essay started.
Yes, the goal with that essay has changed from getting it done to just starting the damn thing. See, I'm suffering from a mix of ''I gotta get this right'' which makes me panic, and ''I don't give a shit'' which makes me panic more. It doesn't help that it's not the only essay I have on my plate. There's another essay due for 3 days after my philosophy one for geography. I suspect this one will be easier to write than a philosophy one however, since the format is familiar and the topic is familiar. Damn philosophy, why?!

Some familiarity...
...wherever that may be. I've found that neither my uni accommodation nor my home is feeling familiar at the moment, so I need to find my familiarity in other things. For that I thank Alannah for that awesome meal on Saturday and Scott for visiting on Sunday- you guys made my weekend. It's hard to get familiarity when your stupid aesthetic preferences sent you to a uni that isn't simple nor cheap to get to. And as tempting as it is, I refuse to find familiarity at the bottom of an apple soorz/cider/vodka bottle. At least not when I'm alone, that's a bit sad.

That social life.
Before I came to uni my social life was getting FANTASTIC. I don't know if this was just because Mary was leaving and we needed to make sure she missed us as much as possible or not, but I thoroughly enjoyed having something to do every weekend and most weekdays. Now I'm back to square one, just like first year of high school (I'm trying to ignore the fact that it took me until third year to actually make some real friends), having to find people like me, befriend them, and create a link strong enough to hold random banterous conversation, random days out. I'd like to think I'm on my way with that but I'm too shy/self conscious to think I'm anything but an annoyance to others.

So this isn't as short I was expecting.

And... I'm done.

Take THAT.

So I just got abuse for not blogging. Sorry, ''the bloggy''.

WELL Andrew. Here you are. A blog.

A continuation. Ish.

''Well, I had an idea what I was going to blog about today, and it wasn't a particularly happy one.''

I actually cannot remember what this topic is. Whoops.