So it's almost 2011...

...so I may as well blog about it.
My original idea was gonna be an attempt at comedy, simultaneously posting things here and on tumblr and posting links to each new section of the conversation, and make it look like blogger was taking the piss out of tumblr for it getting just as little attention as blogger. Lame and time consuming venture that very few would take part in, maybe. Realised this wouldn't work however, without the URL of each post which I wouldn't have unless I posted it, and I couldn't be arsed with the extra hassle that would bring.

If I get significant interest (which I seriously doubt) I might give it a go.

So this is gonna be less of a blog about 2011, and more of what 2010 did to me. But I'll stick some resolutions that (if lucky) will last till January 2nd.

So if you told January 2010 Zoe some of the ways she'd change she probably wouldn't believe you.
I've gotten much more cynical. That's believable, it's kinda part of my personality and my pessimism (closely linked to my cynicism) is a trait I'm fairly proud of.
I'd enjoy uni. I was scared as hell about it, I feared being lonely, living alone, not having my mum to guide me every second of the day... Come to think of it, I knew this too. Deep down I knew I'm independent enough to live alone, happy enough in myself to be quite happy being alone (if that were to happen) and taking care of myself. I just didn't, because I didn't have to. The lazy side of me used the lack of requirement to be independent to it's full advantage.
I'd get into uni. I was pretty certain I wouldn't, for example, I had already started making plans for getting a full time job (well, thought about it) and preparing for the results of doom, telling me that Stirling had rejected me. Ahhh, but again, deep down, I knew I stood a chance. Maybe I wasn't FULLY aware that I'd get in, but there was enough of a confidence that I would get into uni to stop myself panicking about it. Yeah, this is again down to the point that my personality automatically prepares me for the bigger falls (pessimism = less of a fall when you fail, more happiness when you succeed).
That I'd have so much fun seeing Mary off/surviving while she's gone. I'd assumed the whole thing was gonna be tear filled, miserable and deathly. Oh wait...I knew that too. Because I know that any event that involves all of my friends getting together for some damn good fun, as is planning the damn good fun events that'll happen in 2011 when she returns, with her funny new accent that (here's hoping) she'll have picked up. See? Pessimism again.


So yeah, the point of that? 2010 wasn't a remarkable year. Nor was it entirely pointless, it was just another year in my mental, physical and emotional development.
That's not to say that I don't appreciate the effect some people have had on me this past year. And since noone is likely to actually read this I see no harm in mentioning names:



Mum: Thank you for generally being you. An awesome well of support, banter and many many giggles this past year, and for all the keeping-me-on-track "I'm not angry, just disappointed" situations that've made me a better person over the years.

Andrew: We may not have been friends for long but you've been really good to me and amused me with many a blog/vlog, with a lot of banter (and alcohol) along the way. Hey, and if you weren't around this blog wouldn't be either. The Great Toothbrush War will be mine. Plus, you're one of the few who might actually read this so it's worth giving you a shout out. I suppose.

Naomi: Funny how someone so far away you've never actually met can have so much impact in your life. You've been a constant source of uber lulz and awesomeness this past year. Plz move to Scotland. Kthxbye.

Kadeem: Same goes for you about the never met/far away bit. I genuinely do not think I could possibly have passed those essays/this semester without your critique and advice. And thank you, also for just being you.

Alannah, Alisha and Sammi: I heart you all, for the same reasons, and I figure you guys were the most likely to give me a kicking/abuse for not giving a specific mention. I loveeeeee you <3

My closest friends: You know who you are, and if you don't, I haven't been appreciating you enough, and you should leave an abusive comment.

The McCrew: With a name like "the McCrew" how could you not be awesome? Thanking you for making work vaguely enjoyable, and not letting it be robotic. Also, yous all made me less shy. Which is brilliant, and stood me in good stead for going to uni and meeting even more new people.


Forgive me for making this quite a long blog, but in the words of someone smarter than me "it's a year in review/year ahead. There's alot to write about." (I then corrected his use of "alot" -> "a lot").


So, on to 2011. What do I want to accomplish? Imma break this down into sections.

Uni:
It'd be really, really cool if I could pass this next semester, too. Preferably without pre-mentioned essay guru. Just so I can be certain I'm capable of doing it alone. I'd also like to start experimenting with food more. I mean more than just adding tuna to a tin of chilli con carne (it really did taste good, honest!). I'm now living alone, with complete control over what I'm eating, so why not experiment a bit? Finally, I'd like to get out more. Contrary to popular (mother's) belief, I am not the typical "gets pissed every night especially on nights before exams" student. I don't want to be that kind of student, but I also don't want to remain the typical "stays in every night, staring at Facebook for something interesting to happen" student.

Lifestyle:
Must get job. I know, I've got one. But I need a job for when I'm not at home. This may mean dropping current job, and working in Stirling during the holidays, which means I'll miss a lot of people, but it'll be worth it for the extra cash. So that I can afford the costs driving lessons, insurance, petrol and actual vehicle that will inevitably crop up in my quest to be a fully fledged (125cc) biker. I also want to get better at saving money. At the moment it burns a hole in my pocket when I have it, and when I don't, I can't afford the thread to fix said hole. That was a terrible analogy.

Home:
I'd like to visit more. I know, the idea of getting a job in Stirling directly conflicts with this hope, but if possible, I want to make certain I don't lose the ties I have back home so that I don't seriously consider that idea to move to Stirling/Glasgow/some other city, not necessarily in Britain on a more permanent basis after uni. Hopefully, if I do get that bike and the money to run said bike, this will be easier. Must hone sense of direction.

Well, that's me done I think.
Thanks for reading if you did. If you didn't, you wont be here to read any insult I leave, so I won't waste minutes trying to think of something witty and abusive.

That will be all, until 2011.

P.S HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone, and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas :)

Avast! Taking a break.

So I know many of you will be saying "ha! Look there she goes slacking off again!"
Stfu. I have been studying since 10 past 10. So I'm taking a break, lest my head actually implode with the influx of psychological terms, implications, processes, etc. So, Grooveshark on, headphones in, blogger up.

I'm finally continuing the music blogging. Again, genres are very loose, so don't bitch at me.
And we move on to:


ROCK


Paramore:
I'm not linking anyone to anything by Paramore. Everyone knows Paramore. Most people like Paramore. But I like Paramore in a very particular way. I'm not particularly fond of All We Know Is Falling. I'm even less fond of Brand New Eyes. I despise Airplanes. I know that's only Hayley Williams... but face it. Paramore IS Hayley Williams. In truth, I like a few songs from All We Know Is Falling. I have a soft spot for Decode. But honestly, I am in LOVE with Riot!. Always have been. Maybe that's because it was the first Paramore album I heard. I don't know. All I know is it never fails to put me in a good mood.
Favourite track: Born For This.


Flyleaf:
Since I'm lazy, I'm not going to link to any songs here either. I discovered Flyleaf from the song I'm So Sick. If you've heard it, you'll know that when you listen the first time it goes something like this; "ahh, she has a sweet voice, this is pretty cool, strange tone...OMG WTF HAPPENED?" as they turn out to excercise sounds you never would've expected from them. Aside from their music, I just can't help but respect the band, in particular Lacey Mosely. Despite not being religious myself, I can't help but respect the message they put across, and the hardships Lacey has pulled herself through with faith. Kinda shows the power of faith, while it may not be the path for everyone, it saves many.
Favourite track: Cassie (Acoustic) "do you believe in God/written on the bullet/and Cassie pulled the trigger"


Seether:
Personally, I love how flexible Seether are. You get some heartwarming/breaking tracks like Broken. Then upbeat, "happy" songs like Rise Above This that genuinely instill a sense of positivity. Eerie songs that give you chills like Eyes of the Devil and Don't Believe. Finally, you get fun songs that are great for singing along to, like Fake It. As you've probably noticed as of this moment I have only heard their Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces album so I am basing my opinion solely on that, so no bitching about how I'm being too narrow. Listening to some of their back catalogue is on my list of things to do.
Favourite track: No Jesus Christ.


Right, cba doing any more, and I need to get back to studying.
P.S don't read this if you think of music as "just a song for listening to" and not a variety of messages/tones/moods/attitudes etc. You might think me weird if that's your definition of music.


That will be all.
Zoe.