I found something out last night. And it's thrown me. I knew how I felt about it when I found out about it, but I pushed it away cus I didn't want to think about it.
Alannah didn't make it to Stirling uni.
I feel for her, she's spent the last 2 years working tirelessly to get into this university. Even when she was rejected last year she didn't give up and just tried again. All year she spoke of how coming to Stirling was her dream and she would achieve it after all her hard work.
I was in no doubt she'd get in, none whatsoever. I mean, how could they reject her? She's far more qualified for the course and ridiculously more motivated than me to do well, how in the hell did I get in and she didn't?
Now, I'm not trying to become the ultimate victim. I just came to a significant realisation that I can't keep bottled up- if I did that I could hide it and let it ruin me.
I'm failing. There is no simpler way to put it than that. Last semester I passed. By. The. Skin. Of. My. Teeth. Have I looked back at this and thought "shit, I gotta put some effort in!"? Sure I have. Have I done anything about it? No. I have not. If anything, it's gotten worse. No, I have gotten worse.
The "I can do it later" bit clearly isn't working for me. I can count on two hands the number of lectures I have actually attended for all three classes this semester on the basis of "I can do it later". Problem with that is I haven't done it later.
I'm wasting an opportunity that by all accounts I have no right to even have.
I am so sorry Alannah. I'm sorry you didn't make it, and I'm sorry I'm not taking full advantage of what, by some fluke or mis-print, has been given to me. Thank God you'll never see this. Oh sh-. Better rename this "a confession".
But it's not just a confession, it's a promise. A promise to myself, a promise to Alannah, a promise to anyone who cares that I will stop pretending to myself I can do this without trying. I can't. And it's not melodramatic to say that not trying now will ruin my life. It will.
I can't let that happen.
Tuesday 19 April 2011
Monday 18 April 2011
Just a quick update.
Decided to change the name of my blog. I've decided I don't actually think I'm an idiot, and it's giving a false impression of myself to have it up there. So from now in, this blog will be "Ramblings of a university student" cus I haven't thought of anything I could replace "idiot" with.
Suggestions welcome!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Suggestions welcome!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Sunday 17 April 2011
I think I'm getting way too excited about D&D.
Levi was a simple girl. Having been left at the nunnery as a baby like so many other baby girls, she had never known her parents. This was a fact that never bothered Levi, in fact she felt it was fate that she was to be given to the arms of God so she could serve her purpose on earth with no attachments or distractions. She was a faithful student of the revered mother Dimitte, who looked upon Levi as her favourite pupil, spotting true potential deep within the young girl. By her 18th birthday, Levi would be well and ready to accept her vows and ultimately pledge herself unto God and God alone, so she would continue the path of righteousness and good.
However, little more than a year before her vows were to be taken, young Levi was taking a stroll through the village, offering scraps to the hungry as she had done countless days before. Today would be the day that would change her life, however. As she passed a darkened alleyway, she heard a shriek. Her curiosity spurned her forward and she dashed forward, picking up a plank of wood should she require it. Out of the darkness flew a woman, dressed so peculiarly Levi wondered if she had lost all sense of her femininity. The woman ploughed straight into Levi, and without so much as a passing apology scrambled to her feet and darted away, yelling "Catch me if you can!" over her shoulder. Back on her own feet, Levi brushed the dust from her simple tunic - void of the belt she had been wearing that held the small purse of leftover food.
Cursing her clumsiness and that girl, Levi started her hour-long walk back to the nunnery to explain to Mother Dimitte what had happened, hoping she could handle the disappointment that would flow from Mother Dimitte's eyes into Levi's Soul, as always happened when she deviated even slightly form Divinity's work. Deep in thought and feeling sorry for herself, Levi didn't notice the stealthy intruder. She felt she jumped a mile into the sky when the deviant tapped her shoulder. Spinning around she held her arms up to defend herself from the would-be attacker.
She recognised the woman from a few moments ago. She was younger than she had looked in her haste, and much more beautiful. Levi was entranced with her all-encompassing radiance. Her skin was pale, clashing with her mahogany hair, but what really caught her attention was her eyes. They were a striking green, the kind you could lose all sense of time and space in. Though she did not know it, Levi would do anything to have those eyes gaze into the innermost depths of her Self.
Levi could barely pay attention as the woman introduced herself as Ennin, and offered Levi's belt back. Snatching it back, Levi broke herself from her trance and demanded of the woman a reason why she took it.
"It's my trade" Ennin stated abruptly. Taken aback, Levi questioned her. The two women sat for many hours that day conversing about their lives, that were so opposite, Levi was fascinated, almost amused by it. The girls became close friend in the months that followed, but after one too many a bicker over who's beliefs were the right ones, Ennin demanded that Levi step away from her God just once to experience something different. Levi looked into those emerald green eyes and knew she would do as asked, and knew there would be no going back to her old life afterwards.
Levi became somewhat of an apprentice of Ennin's, leaving an apologetic note for Mother Dimitte so as to avoid her disappointment and to travel alongside her beautiful companion. They grew to be women together, and Levi found herself falling in love with Ennin. Despite their strikingly similar appearances, Levi doubted that Ennin could return the love of someone so comparatively insignificant as herself. As such it came entirely as surprise when, on the night of her twenty-second birthday, Ennin wrapped her in an embrace so loving and warm that Levi never wanted to leave Ennin's sweet grasp. They confessed to one another on this night, and the next morning continued their path not only as companions, but as lovers.
Levi became yet more besotted with Ennin than she had ever been. Her love made her blind to all of the harsher things that Ennin had been getting involved in, blind to Ennin's manipulation of facts, blind to her direct manipulation of Levi herself. It never occurred to Levi that her love could be anything other than a paragon. Two years later, on a bright summer’s evening, Ennin seemed very focussed on her thoughts, as if something were troubling her. Worried for her beloved, Levi questioned her. Ennin broke down in tears, confessing that she had done something horribly wrong, and someone had seen her. When pressed, she admitted she had murdered a man but insisted he had attacked her first. She convinced Levi that she needed to "dispose of" the woman who had seen her. Determined that her beloved would come to no harm by the law, she agreed. Ennin led her to a town that seemed vaguely familiar to Levi, it had a scent of a memory about it she could not place in her mind.
They approached a large church building with a wide courtyard, that again stirred memories deeply suppressed in her mind. Ennin advised Levi to wait outside till she had apprehended the woman, but she could not be the one to land the blow in case the Gods looked upon her too dimly for having the blood of two on her hands. Levi entered the building as signalled, and it was not until she had walked almost fully the way up the aisle that she recognised it's towering columns and wide pews. Blinking twice as memories flooded back into her mind she tried to focus on Ennin, who was holding a female figure down at the foot of the stairs leading up to the pedestal Mother Dimitte once preached behind...
Faltering, Levi caught sight of her to-be victim. It was indeed Mother Dimitte. With a gasp, Levi froze, unable to take another step as Mother Dimitte's eye's penetrated her.
"What are you waiting for!?" Ennin called, impatiently.
Stuttering, Levi almost whispered "I...can't kill her..."
A worried expression immediately flooded Ennin's face, and she manipulated her voice, making her sound hurt and meek. "If you don't, they'll get me. They'll hurt me!" The called, allowing her voice to tremble with fear.
Mother Dimitte saw Levi's hesitation, and began to call out to her, pleading for her life, praying for Levi's own soul. Torn, tears poured silently from Levi's eyes as she approached Ennin. Kneeling before her victim, she knew she could not falter, Ennin depended on it. Closing her eyes firmly, the last words she heard as she plunged her knife into Mother Dimitte's heart were "I forgive you."
These words alone broke Levi, and she collapsed in tears over her revered mother's lifeless body, almost in disbelief at what she had done.
It was not until she heard an almost alien cackle that Levi dared to rise from the body, guilt coursing through her veins, thicker than her blood. Looking up she saw Ennin, but it was not Ennin. Her once beautiful eyes had begun to glow an evil luminous green as she showed her true colours. Ennin had finally completed the ritual that she had been pursuing for years, to have the last true revered mother sent to the earth at the hands of the last true innocent. In no uncertain terms, she pointed all this out to Levi, delighting in the heartbreak that was clearly visible in Levi's eyes as she was bombarded with guilt, betrayal and the loss of a deep, deep love. Ennin abruptly disappeared, the only remnant of her presence being the leftover echo of that hideous cackle.
Dumbfounded, Levi could do nothing but shake violently, her breathing becoming sharp and fast as she realised she couldn't handle all of these feelings at once. As if popping a balloon to relieve it of air, she thrust the knife through her own heart, in that second all of the feelings of love, guilt, loss and betrayal spilling out onto her hands. Screaming to the heavens she swore she would have her revenge as her own body fell over her dead friend's. Despite severing her major bloodlines to her heart, and killing her body clearly, her soul clung intensely to the hatred and betrayal that now encompassed her soul, trapping her in a limbo between life and death, her body taking the form of the only being that can survive in such a limbo - a Vampire.
Opening her eyes, Levi could not understand why she had not died. Her hands were still covered in her own blood, and her wound was still clear just above her left breast, however she felt no pain. It was then she realised what she had become.
Lifting the body of Mother Dimitte, she took it out into the back of the church building. That night she buried the body, burying with it her past naivety and blindness. That night, she swore an oath never to be controlled by anyone again, and swore she would have her vengeance, not stopping until she had tracked Ennin down and inflicted pain on her comparable to her own.
Yes, that's how much thought I've put into the back story of my D&D character. Though to be fair, it's only 12 paragraphs long because I've actually turned this into like a short story. Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't embellished it.
So there you have it, the ultimate form of geekery.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
However, little more than a year before her vows were to be taken, young Levi was taking a stroll through the village, offering scraps to the hungry as she had done countless days before. Today would be the day that would change her life, however. As she passed a darkened alleyway, she heard a shriek. Her curiosity spurned her forward and she dashed forward, picking up a plank of wood should she require it. Out of the darkness flew a woman, dressed so peculiarly Levi wondered if she had lost all sense of her femininity. The woman ploughed straight into Levi, and without so much as a passing apology scrambled to her feet and darted away, yelling "Catch me if you can!" over her shoulder. Back on her own feet, Levi brushed the dust from her simple tunic - void of the belt she had been wearing that held the small purse of leftover food.
Cursing her clumsiness and that girl, Levi started her hour-long walk back to the nunnery to explain to Mother Dimitte what had happened, hoping she could handle the disappointment that would flow from Mother Dimitte's eyes into Levi's Soul, as always happened when she deviated even slightly form Divinity's work. Deep in thought and feeling sorry for herself, Levi didn't notice the stealthy intruder. She felt she jumped a mile into the sky when the deviant tapped her shoulder. Spinning around she held her arms up to defend herself from the would-be attacker.
She recognised the woman from a few moments ago. She was younger than she had looked in her haste, and much more beautiful. Levi was entranced with her all-encompassing radiance. Her skin was pale, clashing with her mahogany hair, but what really caught her attention was her eyes. They were a striking green, the kind you could lose all sense of time and space in. Though she did not know it, Levi would do anything to have those eyes gaze into the innermost depths of her Self.
Levi could barely pay attention as the woman introduced herself as Ennin, and offered Levi's belt back. Snatching it back, Levi broke herself from her trance and demanded of the woman a reason why she took it.
"It's my trade" Ennin stated abruptly. Taken aback, Levi questioned her. The two women sat for many hours that day conversing about their lives, that were so opposite, Levi was fascinated, almost amused by it. The girls became close friend in the months that followed, but after one too many a bicker over who's beliefs were the right ones, Ennin demanded that Levi step away from her God just once to experience something different. Levi looked into those emerald green eyes and knew she would do as asked, and knew there would be no going back to her old life afterwards.
Levi became somewhat of an apprentice of Ennin's, leaving an apologetic note for Mother Dimitte so as to avoid her disappointment and to travel alongside her beautiful companion. They grew to be women together, and Levi found herself falling in love with Ennin. Despite their strikingly similar appearances, Levi doubted that Ennin could return the love of someone so comparatively insignificant as herself. As such it came entirely as surprise when, on the night of her twenty-second birthday, Ennin wrapped her in an embrace so loving and warm that Levi never wanted to leave Ennin's sweet grasp. They confessed to one another on this night, and the next morning continued their path not only as companions, but as lovers.
Levi became yet more besotted with Ennin than she had ever been. Her love made her blind to all of the harsher things that Ennin had been getting involved in, blind to Ennin's manipulation of facts, blind to her direct manipulation of Levi herself. It never occurred to Levi that her love could be anything other than a paragon. Two years later, on a bright summer’s evening, Ennin seemed very focussed on her thoughts, as if something were troubling her. Worried for her beloved, Levi questioned her. Ennin broke down in tears, confessing that she had done something horribly wrong, and someone had seen her. When pressed, she admitted she had murdered a man but insisted he had attacked her first. She convinced Levi that she needed to "dispose of" the woman who had seen her. Determined that her beloved would come to no harm by the law, she agreed. Ennin led her to a town that seemed vaguely familiar to Levi, it had a scent of a memory about it she could not place in her mind.
They approached a large church building with a wide courtyard, that again stirred memories deeply suppressed in her mind. Ennin advised Levi to wait outside till she had apprehended the woman, but she could not be the one to land the blow in case the Gods looked upon her too dimly for having the blood of two on her hands. Levi entered the building as signalled, and it was not until she had walked almost fully the way up the aisle that she recognised it's towering columns and wide pews. Blinking twice as memories flooded back into her mind she tried to focus on Ennin, who was holding a female figure down at the foot of the stairs leading up to the pedestal Mother Dimitte once preached behind...
Faltering, Levi caught sight of her to-be victim. It was indeed Mother Dimitte. With a gasp, Levi froze, unable to take another step as Mother Dimitte's eye's penetrated her.
"What are you waiting for!?" Ennin called, impatiently.
Stuttering, Levi almost whispered "I...can't kill her..."
A worried expression immediately flooded Ennin's face, and she manipulated her voice, making her sound hurt and meek. "If you don't, they'll get me. They'll hurt me!" The called, allowing her voice to tremble with fear.
Mother Dimitte saw Levi's hesitation, and began to call out to her, pleading for her life, praying for Levi's own soul. Torn, tears poured silently from Levi's eyes as she approached Ennin. Kneeling before her victim, she knew she could not falter, Ennin depended on it. Closing her eyes firmly, the last words she heard as she plunged her knife into Mother Dimitte's heart were "I forgive you."
These words alone broke Levi, and she collapsed in tears over her revered mother's lifeless body, almost in disbelief at what she had done.
It was not until she heard an almost alien cackle that Levi dared to rise from the body, guilt coursing through her veins, thicker than her blood. Looking up she saw Ennin, but it was not Ennin. Her once beautiful eyes had begun to glow an evil luminous green as she showed her true colours. Ennin had finally completed the ritual that she had been pursuing for years, to have the last true revered mother sent to the earth at the hands of the last true innocent. In no uncertain terms, she pointed all this out to Levi, delighting in the heartbreak that was clearly visible in Levi's eyes as she was bombarded with guilt, betrayal and the loss of a deep, deep love. Ennin abruptly disappeared, the only remnant of her presence being the leftover echo of that hideous cackle.
Dumbfounded, Levi could do nothing but shake violently, her breathing becoming sharp and fast as she realised she couldn't handle all of these feelings at once. As if popping a balloon to relieve it of air, she thrust the knife through her own heart, in that second all of the feelings of love, guilt, loss and betrayal spilling out onto her hands. Screaming to the heavens she swore she would have her revenge as her own body fell over her dead friend's. Despite severing her major bloodlines to her heart, and killing her body clearly, her soul clung intensely to the hatred and betrayal that now encompassed her soul, trapping her in a limbo between life and death, her body taking the form of the only being that can survive in such a limbo - a Vampire.
Opening her eyes, Levi could not understand why she had not died. Her hands were still covered in her own blood, and her wound was still clear just above her left breast, however she felt no pain. It was then she realised what she had become.
Lifting the body of Mother Dimitte, she took it out into the back of the church building. That night she buried the body, burying with it her past naivety and blindness. That night, she swore an oath never to be controlled by anyone again, and swore she would have her vengeance, not stopping until she had tracked Ennin down and inflicted pain on her comparable to her own.
Yes, that's how much thought I've put into the back story of my D&D character. Though to be fair, it's only 12 paragraphs long because I've actually turned this into like a short story. Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't embellished it.
So there you have it, the ultimate form of geekery.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Wednesday 13 April 2011
So yeah.
I've noticed most of these blogs start with the word "so". Decided to get that out of the way in the title this time.
To summarise what this blog will be about, it's pretty much gonna be one of the first ones I'm writing in a bad mood since the very first. So I apologise if I sound snappy or unreasonable in any way. Please note, this apology will become available in the next few days. If you demand one now, I'll glare at you, and possibly swear at you. Menacing, isn't it.
I'm just grumpy because I got my geography results back today. I know, I know, "I don't care about geography, it's not my degree so I just wanna get through it".
It's not the geography that bothers me. It's the failing.
I've never ever failed anything outright before. Not in high school, not in primary school, not even in my first semester. But now, I have. I know it doesn't mean I've failed the course. I know I'm not getting kicked out of uni. I know I just have to do well in the final exam to get the points I need to stay out of trouble next semester. That's not the point.
I suppose this is me finally facing the fact I've reached the point where winging it will not get me anywhere anymore. Its power has reached its limit. Just btw, it is very unwise to call me out on this point in the next few days, unless you really have to feck my mood up more.
Yes, that's right, I'm taking my anger/upset out on the nameless, faceless readers of my blog. My apologies. Later.
On another note, I got the Firefighter Tristana skin today. Thank you Iaaaaainnn.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
To summarise what this blog will be about, it's pretty much gonna be one of the first ones I'm writing in a bad mood since the very first. So I apologise if I sound snappy or unreasonable in any way. Please note, this apology will become available in the next few days. If you demand one now, I'll glare at you, and possibly swear at you. Menacing, isn't it.
I'm just grumpy because I got my geography results back today. I know, I know, "I don't care about geography, it's not my degree so I just wanna get through it".
It's not the geography that bothers me. It's the failing.
I've never ever failed anything outright before. Not in high school, not in primary school, not even in my first semester. But now, I have. I know it doesn't mean I've failed the course. I know I'm not getting kicked out of uni. I know I just have to do well in the final exam to get the points I need to stay out of trouble next semester. That's not the point.
I suppose this is me finally facing the fact I've reached the point where winging it will not get me anywhere anymore. Its power has reached its limit. Just btw, it is very unwise to call me out on this point in the next few days, unless you really have to feck my mood up more.
Yes, that's right, I'm taking my anger/upset out on the nameless, faceless readers of my blog. My apologies. Later.
On another note, I got the Firefighter Tristana skin today. Thank you Iaaaaainnn.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Wednesday 6 April 2011
Omegle.
SO. I've given up on trying to get sleep today, so I thinks, what am I going to do now? I settle on listening to the radio for the first time in forever. So I goes on the net and finds Kindom FM's page for the breakfast show with Ian and Diane. It says it's currently playing 500 Miles by The Proclaimers. So I tries my hardest to get on it as fast as, cus that's an awesome way to "wake up" as it were. But all this faffing about downloading plug-ins and restarting shit and I missed it. Missed The Proclaimers. Some stupid pop crap was on.
So that's this morning's rant, very sorry for that bizarre accent that somehow got infused in there o.O
Anyway, as the title of this blog would suggest, this is actually about the wave of anonymous online one-to-one chats that are springing up everywhere, the best known obviously being ChatRoulette (which is clearly not very anonymous). I found Omegle, which as far as I know, is vaguely popular.
I decided I'd make an attempt at finding intelligent conversation. Impossible, it would seem, but I succeeded!
This is how it started:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi.
You: Hey.
Stranger: What's your favourite number?
You: I can't say I have a favourite really. 12 sprang to mind though.
Stranger: 12. I like that number. My favourite number is 6. But I also like multiples of 6 by extension.
Stranger: I think multiples of 6 are overlooked, in general.
Stranger: Not like 5.
Stranger: You know. Or 3.
You: Ugh, 5 is the whore of numbers, only out whore'd by 3.
You: Ha, said that too slow.
Stranger: Yes, yes! You're quite right!
Stranger: I agree. And then 7
Stranger: 7 is everyone's favourite.
Stranger: And when you ask people to pick a number, they always pick 3, or 7... or numbers ending in 3 or 7
Stranger: People rarely pick6.
Stranger: And you know what else?
You: It's that "in-between" number, that makes people think they're being individual.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: You know how they tell
Stranger: when people have invented "random" results
Stranger: There are a disproportionate number of numbers ending in 7 and 3
You: They're in between the 5 and the multiple of 10, which validates my theory.
Now, to find this conversation I went through about 25 people who's first words were "hi asl". There is nothing worse than that. Would it really kill people to be creative and different?
Obviously though, conversations about numbers can't go on forever:
Stranger: I used to live in number 17
Stranger: And my friend always thought that was unlucky.
You: I must say, I take luck as it comes, it's nothing you can categorise with numbers or objects.
Stranger: Here is why. In Roman numerals, it is XVII, right? And if you rearrange the letters, it comes to VIXI, which, in Latin is the perfect tense of the verb to live, so it means I have lived.
Stranger: And if you have lived, in the perfect tense, that mean's you're dead!
You: I understand that.
Stranger: Cicero used it, famously.
Stranger: He said :vixerunt, about some prisoners, I can't remember who - I'm so poor on Roman history - to mean they had been executed.
Stranger: Do you like Latin?
You: I tried to study it in school, but had to drop it since I had to retake a class.
You: Been meaning to pick it back up again.
Stranger: Yes, it's easy to forget, isn't it? I did it in school too. It was my favourite subject.
Stranger: I loved all the grammar.
You: We studied...oh god I don't even remember what it was called.
Stranger: Some people don't like grammar but I think it's so interesting! And in Latin it's infinitely more logical than in modern languages.
You: we did the grammar and actual language part, but also roman history and the like.
Stranger: The Aeneid?
You: How did you know?
You: Yes, that was it.
Stranger: Because you can't study Latin and not do it!
Stranger: It's like THE Latin poem.
"What is this I don't even..." I hear you say. Yeah, not only did I find someone vaguely different, I've found real actual intelligence. There's no way this could get better though, surely:
Stranger: If you want to pick Latin up again
Stranger: I really recomend a book called Reading Latin
Stranger: It's a great book, and lots of interesting language points and translations.
Stranger: What subject did you like in school the most, then?
You: Oh I liked a lot, geography is in the top 3, definitely. As is history, and music.
You: Music is 3rd, geography and history tie for top spot.
Stranger: I didn't study a lot of geography. But I would have liked to, if I had had more time. What did you like about geography - physical, or human?
You: Definitely physical, but some human aspects were intruiging.
You: It irritates the hell out of me when people assume geography is all about where things are.
Stranger: Yes. I liked learning about different types of rock, and how they formed- how quickly the volcanic lava cooled and things, that was awesome!
Stranger: Yes, I suppose. It has that reputation, doesn't it?
But wait, there's more!
Stranger: Do you want to do something in the future to do with that - like - environmental research?
You: Not really, I chose geography as a filler subject mostly just for enjoyment purposes and further learning, my focus is on psychology - odd combination, I know.
Stranger: Oh! Wow - really - so you study all different things?
Stranger: Or just those two?
You: Those two and philosophy.
Stranger: That sounds great. I don't know very much about psychology.
Stranger: It seems to me that humans are just - inexplicable - perhaps if I studied more psychology I would understand people better
You: Well it doesn't really work that way - sure you can boil things down to diagnosis of illnesses or mental problems, and mental processes, but (not discountng this of course, it's very valid obviously) every person is different, and every person will have different deviations from the typical "rules".
Stranger: Yes. So annoying! It would be great if you could finally figure people out like a maths equation.
You: But would it? that'd take all the spontiniety out of people, and take away what makes us human.
You: That sounded almost philosophical.
Stranger: Well, you're a philosopher too, right?
(insert hour long conversation about human psychology, and a discussion about human conformatism)
I managed to find someone on a chat site like omegle that I could have an intelligent, literate conversation with. Perhaps there are normal people somewhere deep in the interwebz.
And it didn't stop there. Psychology turned to discussing countries, to a conversation about accents, to stereotypes, to alcohol (it was always gonna end up there at some point), to places, to food...
And ended with:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
No, I wasn't hung up on, he (I'm assuming it was a he) went to bed.
But I like that, I think it's gonna be how I end my blogs now, kinda like how Andrew has "peace out bubs".
So to conclude, the popular opinion that there are no normal people on the interwebz, only trolls and idiots and, ahem, wankers, is a tad inaccurate. Thank you 4chan, ChatRoulette etc. for ruining the concepion of the internet. You rapists and paedophiles aren't helping either.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
So that's this morning's rant, very sorry for that bizarre accent that somehow got infused in there o.O
Anyway, as the title of this blog would suggest, this is actually about the wave of anonymous online one-to-one chats that are springing up everywhere, the best known obviously being ChatRoulette (which is clearly not very anonymous). I found Omegle, which as far as I know, is vaguely popular.
I decided I'd make an attempt at finding intelligent conversation. Impossible, it would seem, but I succeeded!
This is how it started:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi.
You: Hey.
Stranger: What's your favourite number?
You: I can't say I have a favourite really. 12 sprang to mind though.
Stranger: 12. I like that number. My favourite number is 6. But I also like multiples of 6 by extension.
Stranger: I think multiples of 6 are overlooked, in general.
Stranger: Not like 5.
Stranger: You know. Or 3.
You: Ugh, 5 is the whore of numbers, only out whore'd by 3.
You: Ha, said that too slow.
Stranger: Yes, yes! You're quite right!
Stranger: I agree. And then 7
Stranger: 7 is everyone's favourite.
Stranger: And when you ask people to pick a number, they always pick 3, or 7... or numbers ending in 3 or 7
Stranger: People rarely pick6.
Stranger: And you know what else?
You: It's that "in-between" number, that makes people think they're being individual.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: You know how they tell
Stranger: when people have invented "random" results
Stranger: There are a disproportionate number of numbers ending in 7 and 3
You: They're in between the 5 and the multiple of 10, which validates my theory.
Now, to find this conversation I went through about 25 people who's first words were "hi asl". There is nothing worse than that. Would it really kill people to be creative and different?
Obviously though, conversations about numbers can't go on forever:
Stranger: I used to live in number 17
Stranger: And my friend always thought that was unlucky.
You: I must say, I take luck as it comes, it's nothing you can categorise with numbers or objects.
Stranger: Here is why. In Roman numerals, it is XVII, right? And if you rearrange the letters, it comes to VIXI, which, in Latin is the perfect tense of the verb to live, so it means I have lived.
Stranger: And if you have lived, in the perfect tense, that mean's you're dead!
You: I understand that.
Stranger: Cicero used it, famously.
Stranger: He said :vixerunt, about some prisoners, I can't remember who - I'm so poor on Roman history - to mean they had been executed.
Stranger: Do you like Latin?
You: I tried to study it in school, but had to drop it since I had to retake a class.
You: Been meaning to pick it back up again.
Stranger: Yes, it's easy to forget, isn't it? I did it in school too. It was my favourite subject.
Stranger: I loved all the grammar.
You: We studied...oh god I don't even remember what it was called.
Stranger: Some people don't like grammar but I think it's so interesting! And in Latin it's infinitely more logical than in modern languages.
You: we did the grammar and actual language part, but also roman history and the like.
Stranger: The Aeneid?
You: How did you know?
You: Yes, that was it.
Stranger: Because you can't study Latin and not do it!
Stranger: It's like THE Latin poem.
"What is this I don't even..." I hear you say. Yeah, not only did I find someone vaguely different, I've found real actual intelligence. There's no way this could get better though, surely:
Stranger: If you want to pick Latin up again
Stranger: I really recomend a book called Reading Latin
Stranger: It's a great book, and lots of interesting language points and translations.
Stranger: What subject did you like in school the most, then?
You: Oh I liked a lot, geography is in the top 3, definitely. As is history, and music.
You: Music is 3rd, geography and history tie for top spot.
Stranger: I didn't study a lot of geography. But I would have liked to, if I had had more time. What did you like about geography - physical, or human?
You: Definitely physical, but some human aspects were intruiging.
You: It irritates the hell out of me when people assume geography is all about where things are.
Stranger: Yes. I liked learning about different types of rock, and how they formed- how quickly the volcanic lava cooled and things, that was awesome!
Stranger: Yes, I suppose. It has that reputation, doesn't it?
But wait, there's more!
Stranger: Do you want to do something in the future to do with that - like - environmental research?
You: Not really, I chose geography as a filler subject mostly just for enjoyment purposes and further learning, my focus is on psychology - odd combination, I know.
Stranger: Oh! Wow - really - so you study all different things?
Stranger: Or just those two?
You: Those two and philosophy.
Stranger: That sounds great. I don't know very much about psychology.
Stranger: It seems to me that humans are just - inexplicable - perhaps if I studied more psychology I would understand people better
You: Well it doesn't really work that way - sure you can boil things down to diagnosis of illnesses or mental problems, and mental processes, but (not discountng this of course, it's very valid obviously) every person is different, and every person will have different deviations from the typical "rules".
Stranger: Yes. So annoying! It would be great if you could finally figure people out like a maths equation.
You: But would it? that'd take all the spontiniety out of people, and take away what makes us human.
You: That sounded almost philosophical.
Stranger: Well, you're a philosopher too, right?
(insert hour long conversation about human psychology, and a discussion about human conformatism)
I managed to find someone on a chat site like omegle that I could have an intelligent, literate conversation with. Perhaps there are normal people somewhere deep in the interwebz.
And it didn't stop there. Psychology turned to discussing countries, to a conversation about accents, to stereotypes, to alcohol (it was always gonna end up there at some point), to places, to food...
And ended with:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
No, I wasn't hung up on, he (I'm assuming it was a he) went to bed.
But I like that, I think it's gonna be how I end my blogs now, kinda like how Andrew has "peace out bubs".
So to conclude, the popular opinion that there are no normal people on the interwebz, only trolls and idiots and, ahem, wankers, is a tad inaccurate. Thank you 4chan, ChatRoulette etc. for ruining the concepion of the internet. You rapists and paedophiles aren't helping either.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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