I just joined tumblr.

And my bloggy felt rejected so in an effort to convince it I am not abandoning it, I am writing a blog this evening/morning.
This is a subject that has been thrown around in my mind for many days, and is extremely important to me.

Why is it universally considered impolite, dirty, and incomparably wrong to lick a knife? These views of knife licking in society are very strong, especially regarding knife-licking in public. I am going to offer suggestions to this, along with my firm rebuttal.

IT'S UNSAFE.
Personally I think this is a ridiculous argument. Many of the people I know have licked many, many knives in their lifetime. They were never hurt by this, nor did they ever feel the need to use protection. Maybe they were just too trusting of the knives they licked, that is a very valid argument, however, as far as I know, they have had no reason to mistrust the knives they have come across.

IT'S DIRTY.
Also a ridiculous argument. Chances are that part of your knife licking will involve licking something off it. Surely this can be considered more hygienic than just leaving whatever it is to crust over? Besides, if human saliva is antiseptic, surely there is some amount of clean in it?

IT'S IMPOLITE.
No it isn't. It just isn't. Who in their right mind can honestly say that they would complain if someone licked a knife? Besides, who cares! If someone wants to lick a knife, is it really such a problem just to let them get on with it? These days when our minds are so open, it would seem they're still so closed.

That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone can think of another reason why it is socially unacceptable to lick knives (especially in public) please leave a comment and I will edit this blog to include it. I'll also advertise your own page if you ask for it.


I have 7 words.
Get. Your. Mind. Out. Of. The. Gutter.
I'm serious. Knife licking is not a euphemism.

That is all.
Zoe.

Unsociability.

Well it's Friday, I am of course on the town! Getting pissed and flashing the blokes and chatting up the burds. Really, I am.

Don't believe me? Fine. I'll make up a story. I'm actually sitting at Emma's house, drink in hand, millions of tabs open, doing exactly what I would be doing had I stayed at uni or gone home, while she is sat at the desk next to me on her desktop doing the same as me. Why? I honestly don't know. Personally, I think internet has already taken over, and we're doomed to communicate via the interwebz, typing. What I don't get is that me and Emma are actually great company together. Our banter is as exceptional as anyone elses, we can talk about shite forever, so why the fascination with the internet?

Maybe we're just sad.

Anyway. To the point of this blog.

Wait... there is no point.

I found inspiration.

FUCK YOU, SCOTTISH RAIL, FUCK YOU.

And it starts with a rant...

First, I'd like to offer an explanation for my very occasional blogging. It's also a rant. See, when I log into blogspot, teh interwebz feels the need to log me off from sites such as google and youtube. I cannot be simultaneously logged into all three. And yes, as a hardcore lazy person, this is yet one more obstacle put in place to stop me writing blogs. I don't understand why it happens, it frustrates me that it happens, and frustration leads to anger and y'all really don't want to see that. No seriously. No-one has seen me ever when I am truly angry, and it is not safe for anyone to see me in that anger, least of all myself.
If anyone has any advice on how do stop blogspot being a grade A asshole, that'd be great.

Well I originally had no topic for this blog. But now I do.
Many of you maybe know of my philosophy essay? The one with the extremely risky waffle? Well I ended up being quite proud of that essay, because I though I was ''thinking out of the box'' and being ''clevar''. I got a 3B which isn't bad (it is), cus it's a pass (it's still bad). It's 2 grades from a fail (bad) but it's a pass (still bad). If anyone wants details of the grading system find them here: http://www.philosophy.stir.ac.uk/handbook/HandbookDAssessment.php#SectD1

I'm not actually that fussed about the grade. It was the comment. See, my extremely risky and ''clevar'' waffle section didn't get a ''OMG this is soooo clevar and fantastic'', nor did it get ''this is a ridiculous waste of paper, please hold while I inform SEPA''. All it got was ''this isn't the best way of demonstrating this''. So my risky, insightful, stupid piece of inspiration for my clever philosophy essay was nothing. Just a bad idea. It's not even terrible. Just quite the anti-climax. Part of me doesn't even know why it bothers me so much. It just does. Now, there is a sense of impending doom. My geography essay. Philosophy scraped a pass. Geography I was even less confident about...

I await the grade with baited breath.