...so I may as well blog about it.
My original idea was gonna be an attempt at comedy, simultaneously posting things here and on tumblr and posting links to each new section of the conversation, and make it look like blogger was taking the piss out of tumblr for it getting just as little attention as blogger. Lame and time consuming venture that very few would take part in, maybe. Realised this wouldn't work however, without the URL of each post which I wouldn't have unless I posted it, and I couldn't be arsed with the extra hassle that would bring.
If I get significant interest (which I seriously doubt) I might give it a go.
So this is gonna be less of a blog about 2011, and more of what 2010 did to me. But I'll stick some resolutions that (if lucky) will last till January 2nd.
So if you told January 2010 Zoe some of the ways she'd change she probably wouldn't believe you.
I've gotten much more cynical. That's believable, it's kinda part of my personality and my pessimism (closely linked to my cynicism) is a trait I'm fairly proud of.
I'd enjoy uni. I was scared as hell about it, I feared being lonely, living alone, not having my mum to guide me every second of the day... Come to think of it, I knew this too. Deep down I knew I'm independent enough to live alone, happy enough in myself to be quite happy being alone (if that were to happen) and taking care of myself. I just didn't, because I didn't have to. The lazy side of me used the lack of requirement to be independent to it's full advantage.
I'd get into uni. I was pretty certain I wouldn't, for example, I had already started making plans for getting a full time job (well, thought about it) and preparing for the results of doom, telling me that Stirling had rejected me. Ahhh, but again, deep down, I knew I stood a chance. Maybe I wasn't FULLY aware that I'd get in, but there was enough of a confidence that I would get into uni to stop myself panicking about it. Yeah, this is again down to the point that my personality automatically prepares me for the bigger falls (pessimism = less of a fall when you fail, more happiness when you succeed).
That I'd have so much fun seeing Mary off/surviving while she's gone. I'd assumed the whole thing was gonna be tear filled, miserable and deathly. Oh wait...I knew that too. Because I know that any event that involves all of my friends getting together for some damn good fun, as is planning the damn good fun events that'll happen in 2011 when she returns, with her funny new accent that (here's hoping) she'll have picked up. See? Pessimism again.
So yeah, the point of that? 2010 wasn't a remarkable year. Nor was it entirely pointless, it was just another year in my mental, physical and emotional development.
That's not to say that I don't appreciate the effect some people have had on me this past year. And since noone is likely to actually read this I see no harm in mentioning names:
Mum: Thank you for generally being you. An awesome well of support, banter and many many giggles this past year, and for all the keeping-me-on-track "I'm not angry, just disappointed" situations that've made me a better person over the years.
Andrew: We may not have been friends for long but you've been really good to me and amused me with many a blog/vlog, with a lot of banter (and alcohol) along the way. Hey, and if you weren't around this blog wouldn't be either. The Great Toothbrush War will be mine. Plus, you're one of the few who might actually read this so it's worth giving you a shout out. I suppose.
Naomi: Funny how someone so far away you've never actually met can have so much impact in your life. You've been a constant source of uber lulz and awesomeness this past year. Plz move to Scotland. Kthxbye.
Kadeem: Same goes for you about the never met/far away bit. I genuinely do not think I could possibly have passed those essays/this semester without your critique and advice. And thank you, also for just being you.
Alannah, Alisha and Sammi: I heart you all, for the same reasons, and I figure you guys were the most likely to give me a kicking/abuse for not giving a specific mention. I loveeeeee you <3
My closest friends: You know who you are, and if you don't, I haven't been appreciating you enough, and you should leave an abusive comment.
The McCrew: With a name like "the McCrew" how could you not be awesome? Thanking you for making work vaguely enjoyable, and not letting it be robotic. Also, yous all made me less shy. Which is brilliant, and stood me in good stead for going to uni and meeting even more new people.
Forgive me for making this quite a long blog, but in the words of someone smarter than me "it's a year in review/year ahead. There's alot to write about." (I then corrected his use of "alot" -> "a lot").
So, on to 2011. What do I want to accomplish? Imma break this down into sections.
Uni:
It'd be really, really cool if I could pass this next semester, too. Preferably without pre-mentioned essay guru. Just so I can be certain I'm capable of doing it alone. I'd also like to start experimenting with food more. I mean more than just adding tuna to a tin of chilli con carne (it really did taste good, honest!). I'm now living alone, with complete control over what I'm eating, so why not experiment a bit? Finally, I'd like to get out more. Contrary to popular (mother's) belief, I am not the typical "gets pissed every night especially on nights before exams" student. I don't want to be that kind of student, but I also don't want to remain the typical "stays in every night, staring at Facebook for something interesting to happen" student.
Lifestyle:
Must get job. I know, I've got one. But I need a job for when I'm not at home. This may mean dropping current job, and working in Stirling during the holidays, which means I'll miss a lot of people, but it'll be worth it for the extra cash. So that I can afford the costs driving lessons, insurance, petrol and actual vehicle that will inevitably crop up in my quest to be a fully fledged (125cc) biker. I also want to get better at saving money. At the moment it burns a hole in my pocket when I have it, and when I don't, I can't afford the thread to fix said hole. That was a terrible analogy.
Home:
I'd like to visit more. I know, the idea of getting a job in Stirling directly conflicts with this hope, but if possible, I want to make certain I don't lose the ties I have back home so that I don't seriously consider that idea to move to Stirling/Glasgow/some other city, not necessarily in Britain on a more permanent basis after uni. Hopefully, if I do get that bike and the money to run said bike, this will be easier. Must hone sense of direction.
Well, that's me done I think.
Thanks for reading if you did. If you didn't, you wont be here to read any insult I leave, so I won't waste minutes trying to think of something witty and abusive.
That will be all, until 2011.
P.S HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone, and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas :)
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Saturday, 11 December 2010
Avast! Taking a break.
So I know many of you will be saying "ha! Look there she goes slacking off again!"
Stfu. I have been studying since 10 past 10. So I'm taking a break, lest my head actually implode with the influx of psychological terms, implications, processes, etc. So, Grooveshark on, headphones in, blogger up.
I'm finally continuing the music blogging. Again, genres are very loose, so don't bitch at me.
And we move on to:
ROCK
Paramore:
I'm not linking anyone to anything by Paramore. Everyone knows Paramore. Most people like Paramore. But I like Paramore in a very particular way. I'm not particularly fond of All We Know Is Falling. I'm even less fond of Brand New Eyes. I despise Airplanes. I know that's only Hayley Williams... but face it. Paramore IS Hayley Williams. In truth, I like a few songs from All We Know Is Falling. I have a soft spot for Decode. But honestly, I am in LOVE with Riot!. Always have been. Maybe that's because it was the first Paramore album I heard. I don't know. All I know is it never fails to put me in a good mood.
Favourite track: Born For This.
Flyleaf:
Since I'm lazy, I'm not going to link to any songs here either. I discovered Flyleaf from the song I'm So Sick. If you've heard it, you'll know that when you listen the first time it goes something like this; "ahh, she has a sweet voice, this is pretty cool, strange tone...OMG WTF HAPPENED?" as they turn out to excercise sounds you never would've expected from them. Aside from their music, I just can't help but respect the band, in particular Lacey Mosely. Despite not being religious myself, I can't help but respect the message they put across, and the hardships Lacey has pulled herself through with faith. Kinda shows the power of faith, while it may not be the path for everyone, it saves many.
Favourite track: Cassie (Acoustic) "do you believe in God/written on the bullet/and Cassie pulled the trigger"
Seether:
Personally, I love how flexible Seether are. You get some heartwarming/breaking tracks like Broken. Then upbeat, "happy" songs like Rise Above This that genuinely instill a sense of positivity. Eerie songs that give you chills like Eyes of the Devil and Don't Believe. Finally, you get fun songs that are great for singing along to, like Fake It. As you've probably noticed as of this moment I have only heard their Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces album so I am basing my opinion solely on that, so no bitching about how I'm being too narrow. Listening to some of their back catalogue is on my list of things to do.
Favourite track: No Jesus Christ.
Right, cba doing any more, and I need to get back to studying.
P.S don't read this if you think of music as "just a song for listening to" and not a variety of messages/tones/moods/attitudes etc. You might think me weird if that's your definition of music.
That will be all.
Zoe.
Stfu. I have been studying since 10 past 10. So I'm taking a break, lest my head actually implode with the influx of psychological terms, implications, processes, etc. So, Grooveshark on, headphones in, blogger up.
I'm finally continuing the music blogging. Again, genres are very loose, so don't bitch at me.
And we move on to:
ROCK
Paramore:
I'm not linking anyone to anything by Paramore. Everyone knows Paramore. Most people like Paramore. But I like Paramore in a very particular way. I'm not particularly fond of All We Know Is Falling. I'm even less fond of Brand New Eyes. I despise Airplanes. I know that's only Hayley Williams... but face it. Paramore IS Hayley Williams. In truth, I like a few songs from All We Know Is Falling. I have a soft spot for Decode. But honestly, I am in LOVE with Riot!. Always have been. Maybe that's because it was the first Paramore album I heard. I don't know. All I know is it never fails to put me in a good mood.
Favourite track: Born For This.
Flyleaf:
Since I'm lazy, I'm not going to link to any songs here either. I discovered Flyleaf from the song I'm So Sick. If you've heard it, you'll know that when you listen the first time it goes something like this; "ahh, she has a sweet voice, this is pretty cool, strange tone...OMG WTF HAPPENED?" as they turn out to excercise sounds you never would've expected from them. Aside from their music, I just can't help but respect the band, in particular Lacey Mosely. Despite not being religious myself, I can't help but respect the message they put across, and the hardships Lacey has pulled herself through with faith. Kinda shows the power of faith, while it may not be the path for everyone, it saves many.
Favourite track: Cassie (Acoustic) "do you believe in God/written on the bullet/and Cassie pulled the trigger"
Seether:
Personally, I love how flexible Seether are. You get some heartwarming/breaking tracks like Broken. Then upbeat, "happy" songs like Rise Above This that genuinely instill a sense of positivity. Eerie songs that give you chills like Eyes of the Devil and Don't Believe. Finally, you get fun songs that are great for singing along to, like Fake It. As you've probably noticed as of this moment I have only heard their Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces album so I am basing my opinion solely on that, so no bitching about how I'm being too narrow. Listening to some of their back catalogue is on my list of things to do.
Favourite track: No Jesus Christ.
Right, cba doing any more, and I need to get back to studying.
P.S don't read this if you think of music as "just a song for listening to" and not a variety of messages/tones/moods/attitudes etc. You might think me weird if that's your definition of music.
That will be all.
Zoe.
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
I just joined tumblr.
And my bloggy felt rejected so in an effort to convince it I am not abandoning it, I am writing a blog this evening/morning.
This is a subject that has been thrown around in my mind for many days, and is extremely important to me.
Why is it universally considered impolite, dirty, and incomparably wrong to lick a knife? These views of knife licking in society are very strong, especially regarding knife-licking in public. I am going to offer suggestions to this, along with my firm rebuttal.
IT'S UNSAFE.
Personally I think this is a ridiculous argument. Many of the people I know have licked many, many knives in their lifetime. They were never hurt by this, nor did they ever feel the need to use protection. Maybe they were just too trusting of the knives they licked, that is a very valid argument, however, as far as I know, they have had no reason to mistrust the knives they have come across.
IT'S DIRTY.
Also a ridiculous argument. Chances are that part of your knife licking will involve licking something off it. Surely this can be considered more hygienic than just leaving whatever it is to crust over? Besides, if human saliva is antiseptic, surely there is some amount of clean in it?
IT'S IMPOLITE.
No it isn't. It just isn't. Who in their right mind can honestly say that they would complain if someone licked a knife? Besides, who cares! If someone wants to lick a knife, is it really such a problem just to let them get on with it? These days when our minds are so open, it would seem they're still so closed.
That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone can think of another reason why it is socially unacceptable to lick knives (especially in public) please leave a comment and I will edit this blog to include it. I'll also advertise your own page if you ask for it.
I have 7 words.
Get. Your. Mind. Out. Of. The. Gutter.
I'm serious. Knife licking is not a euphemism.
That is all.
Zoe.
This is a subject that has been thrown around in my mind for many days, and is extremely important to me.
Why is it universally considered impolite, dirty, and incomparably wrong to lick a knife? These views of knife licking in society are very strong, especially regarding knife-licking in public. I am going to offer suggestions to this, along with my firm rebuttal.
IT'S UNSAFE.
Personally I think this is a ridiculous argument. Many of the people I know have licked many, many knives in their lifetime. They were never hurt by this, nor did they ever feel the need to use protection. Maybe they were just too trusting of the knives they licked, that is a very valid argument, however, as far as I know, they have had no reason to mistrust the knives they have come across.
IT'S DIRTY.
Also a ridiculous argument. Chances are that part of your knife licking will involve licking something off it. Surely this can be considered more hygienic than just leaving whatever it is to crust over? Besides, if human saliva is antiseptic, surely there is some amount of clean in it?
IT'S IMPOLITE.
No it isn't. It just isn't. Who in their right mind can honestly say that they would complain if someone licked a knife? Besides, who cares! If someone wants to lick a knife, is it really such a problem just to let them get on with it? These days when our minds are so open, it would seem they're still so closed.
That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone can think of another reason why it is socially unacceptable to lick knives (especially in public) please leave a comment and I will edit this blog to include it. I'll also advertise your own page if you ask for it.
I have 7 words.
Get. Your. Mind. Out. Of. The. Gutter.
I'm serious. Knife licking is not a euphemism.
That is all.
Zoe.
Friday, 5 November 2010
Unsociability.
Well it's Friday, I am of course on the town! Getting pissed and flashing the blokes and chatting up the burds. Really, I am.
Don't believe me? Fine. I'll make up a story. I'm actually sitting at Emma's house, drink in hand, millions of tabs open, doing exactly what I would be doing had I stayed at uni or gone home, while she is sat at the desk next to me on her desktop doing the same as me. Why? I honestly don't know. Personally, I think internet has already taken over, and we're doomed to communicate via the interwebz, typing. What I don't get is that me and Emma are actually great company together. Our banter is as exceptional as anyone elses, we can talk about shite forever, so why the fascination with the internet?
Maybe we're just sad.
Anyway. To the point of this blog.
Wait... there is no point.
Don't believe me? Fine. I'll make up a story. I'm actually sitting at Emma's house, drink in hand, millions of tabs open, doing exactly what I would be doing had I stayed at uni or gone home, while she is sat at the desk next to me on her desktop doing the same as me. Why? I honestly don't know. Personally, I think internet has already taken over, and we're doomed to communicate via the interwebz, typing. What I don't get is that me and Emma are actually great company together. Our banter is as exceptional as anyone elses, we can talk about shite forever, so why the fascination with the internet?
Maybe we're just sad.
Anyway. To the point of this blog.
Wait... there is no point.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
And it starts with a rant...
First, I'd like to offer an explanation for my very occasional blogging. It's also a rant. See, when I log into blogspot, teh interwebz feels the need to log me off from sites such as google and youtube. I cannot be simultaneously logged into all three. And yes, as a hardcore lazy person, this is yet one more obstacle put in place to stop me writing blogs. I don't understand why it happens, it frustrates me that it happens, and frustration leads to anger and y'all really don't want to see that. No seriously. No-one has seen me ever when I am truly angry, and it is not safe for anyone to see me in that anger, least of all myself.
If anyone has any advice on how do stop blogspot being a grade A asshole, that'd be great.
Well I originally had no topic for this blog. But now I do.
Many of you maybe know of my philosophy essay? The one with the extremely risky waffle? Well I ended up being quite proud of that essay, because I though I was ''thinking out of the box'' and being ''clevar''. I got a 3B which isn't bad (it is), cus it's a pass (it's still bad). It's 2 grades from a fail (bad) but it's a pass (still bad). If anyone wants details of the grading system find them here: http://www.philosophy.stir.ac.uk/handbook/HandbookDAssessment.php#SectD1
I'm not actually that fussed about the grade. It was the comment. See, my extremely risky and ''clevar'' waffle section didn't get a ''OMG this is soooo clevar and fantastic'', nor did it get ''this is a ridiculous waste of paper, please hold while I inform SEPA''. All it got was ''this isn't the best way of demonstrating this''. So my risky, insightful, stupid piece of inspiration for my clever philosophy essay was nothing. Just a bad idea. It's not even terrible. Just quite the anti-climax. Part of me doesn't even know why it bothers me so much. It just does. Now, there is a sense of impending doom. My geography essay. Philosophy scraped a pass. Geography I was even less confident about...
I await the grade with baited breath.
If anyone has any advice on how do stop blogspot being a grade A asshole, that'd be great.
Well I originally had no topic for this blog. But now I do.
Many of you maybe know of my philosophy essay? The one with the extremely risky waffle? Well I ended up being quite proud of that essay, because I though I was ''thinking out of the box'' and being ''clevar''. I got a 3B which isn't bad (it is), cus it's a pass (it's still bad). It's 2 grades from a fail (bad) but it's a pass (still bad). If anyone wants details of the grading system find them here: http://www.philosophy.stir.ac.uk/handbook/HandbookDAssessment.php#SectD1
I'm not actually that fussed about the grade. It was the comment. See, my extremely risky and ''clevar'' waffle section didn't get a ''OMG this is soooo clevar and fantastic'', nor did it get ''this is a ridiculous waste of paper, please hold while I inform SEPA''. All it got was ''this isn't the best way of demonstrating this''. So my risky, insightful, stupid piece of inspiration for my clever philosophy essay was nothing. Just a bad idea. It's not even terrible. Just quite the anti-climax. Part of me doesn't even know why it bothers me so much. It just does. Now, there is a sense of impending doom. My geography essay. Philosophy scraped a pass. Geography I was even less confident about...
I await the grade with baited breath.
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
So here's a real blog.
This is probably gonna be fairly short and sweet. But not quite so succinct as the last one.
I'm just gonna list what I want in the short term atm, to serve as a reminder if you like, seeing as I have a terrible memory. Here goes...
A haircut.
I've been wanting, nay, needing a haircut for a long time. For the simple reason that at the moment it has no style, it's just hair. And it's too long. I hate my hair being too long. Those reasons and since I've moved away from home and sort of started a new life, I may as well change EVERYTHING. Besides, I have barely any friends here anyway so no-one to take the piss out of me if it looks ridiculous. Also found that I've become extremely un-self-conscious, not so much due to confidence, more to do with this uber ''I don't give a shit'' attitude that's come over me in reference to my appearance. ''No change there...'' I hear you whisper to your buddies. Well thanks to my new attitude I don't care that you said that. So don't waste your breath.
Get that eff-ing essay started.
Yes, the goal with that essay has changed from getting it done to just starting the damn thing. See, I'm suffering from a mix of ''I gotta get this right'' which makes me panic, and ''I don't give a shit'' which makes me panic more. It doesn't help that it's not the only essay I have on my plate. There's another essay due for 3 days after my philosophy one for geography. I suspect this one will be easier to write than a philosophy one however, since the format is familiar and the topic is familiar. Damn philosophy, why?!
Some familiarity...
...wherever that may be. I've found that neither my uni accommodation nor my home is feeling familiar at the moment, so I need to find my familiarity in other things. For that I thank Alannah for that awesome meal on Saturday and Scott for visiting on Sunday- you guys made my weekend. It's hard to get familiarity when your stupid aesthetic preferences sent you to a uni that isn't simple nor cheap to get to. And as tempting as it is, I refuse to find familiarity at the bottom of an apple soorz/cider/vodka bottle. At least not when I'm alone, that's a bit sad.
That social life.
Before I came to uni my social life was getting FANTASTIC. I don't know if this was just because Mary was leaving and we needed to make sure she missed us as much as possible or not, but I thoroughly enjoyed having something to do every weekend and most weekdays. Now I'm back to square one, just like first year of high school (I'm trying to ignore the fact that it took me until third year to actually make some real friends), having to find people like me, befriend them, and create a link strong enough to hold random banterous conversation, random days out. I'd like to think I'm on my way with that but I'm too shy/self conscious to think I'm anything but an annoyance to others.
So this isn't as short I was expecting.
And... I'm done.
I'm just gonna list what I want in the short term atm, to serve as a reminder if you like, seeing as I have a terrible memory. Here goes...
A haircut.
I've been wanting, nay, needing a haircut for a long time. For the simple reason that at the moment it has no style, it's just hair. And it's too long. I hate my hair being too long. Those reasons and since I've moved away from home and sort of started a new life, I may as well change EVERYTHING. Besides, I have barely any friends here anyway so no-one to take the piss out of me if it looks ridiculous. Also found that I've become extremely un-self-conscious, not so much due to confidence, more to do with this uber ''I don't give a shit'' attitude that's come over me in reference to my appearance. ''No change there...'' I hear you whisper to your buddies. Well thanks to my new attitude I don't care that you said that. So don't waste your breath.
Get that eff-ing essay started.
Yes, the goal with that essay has changed from getting it done to just starting the damn thing. See, I'm suffering from a mix of ''I gotta get this right'' which makes me panic, and ''I don't give a shit'' which makes me panic more. It doesn't help that it's not the only essay I have on my plate. There's another essay due for 3 days after my philosophy one for geography. I suspect this one will be easier to write than a philosophy one however, since the format is familiar and the topic is familiar. Damn philosophy, why?!
Some familiarity...
...wherever that may be. I've found that neither my uni accommodation nor my home is feeling familiar at the moment, so I need to find my familiarity in other things. For that I thank Alannah for that awesome meal on Saturday and Scott for visiting on Sunday- you guys made my weekend. It's hard to get familiarity when your stupid aesthetic preferences sent you to a uni that isn't simple nor cheap to get to. And as tempting as it is, I refuse to find familiarity at the bottom of an apple soorz/cider/vodka bottle. At least not when I'm alone, that's a bit sad.
That social life.
Before I came to uni my social life was getting FANTASTIC. I don't know if this was just because Mary was leaving and we needed to make sure she missed us as much as possible or not, but I thoroughly enjoyed having something to do every weekend and most weekdays. Now I'm back to square one, just like first year of high school (I'm trying to ignore the fact that it took me until third year to actually make some real friends), having to find people like me, befriend them, and create a link strong enough to hold random banterous conversation, random days out. I'd like to think I'm on my way with that but I'm too shy/self conscious to think I'm anything but an annoyance to others.
So this isn't as short I was expecting.
And... I'm done.
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